Day 44 - Survivor at Hope

So much to write about today.  I'll have a morning post and one later tonight.

Yesterday was Round 2 of Chemo.  True to my commitment, I did NOT bolt out of the room.  Round 2  was so much easier. I knew what was going to happen and was better prepared mentally for the day ahead.  Big shout out to my favorite son, Thomas, for spending the whole morning with me.

Today, I drove down to Tacoma to get the follow-up Neulasta shot.  As I was waiting for my shot this morning, I played around with the "Kids at Hope" pledge, which is near and dear to my heart, and reworded it for Cancer Survivors.  Let me know what you think.  Naomi suggested "patient" instead of  "survivor".  What do you think?

Yesterday, my chemo appointment was concurrent with my doctor's appointment.  So, after they had me all hooked up and dripping KCA Cocktail into my body, I wheeled my IV to the doctor's exam room and met with Dr. Senecal.  Tom came with me and listened for most of it.  I asked him to leave the room for the actual exam.  He was very quick to agree.  ;-)

GREAT NEWS!!The KCA Cocktail has the cancer scared, dying, and on the run already!  Way to go, KCA Soldiers!! The upside of having some of the cancer areas visible is that we can see if it is expanding or in retreat.  Those cancer cells are dying like fruit flies hit with the right kind of RAID and a strong cold front!!  That was powerful to my hope-o-meter, yesterday!

Lary Copolla posted a great quote that I've seen before, but that has taken on special meaning this past 44 days.  "God gives us only what we can handle.  Apparently God thinks I'm a bad-a**".  While I'm usually not one to mix God and bad-a** in the same sentence, I'm going to risk it because I know from life experiences that God has a sense of humor.  :-)

Symbolic of how much better Round 2 went... Remember in Round One where my blood pressure was 165/something and I ripped off the BP cuff and bolted from the room?  Well, in Round 2, my blood pressure was only 111/75.  I bet most of you healthy runners my age don't have such enviable BP. 
 

 

Day 42 - Eve of Round 2

Round 2 of KCA tomorrow morning.  Glad that Tom is going with me.  Steph is headed out of town for a couple of days, but left me this really sweet note..

 

Big shout out to the great folks at www.breastcancer.org.  If you are ever in this situation and need a place to talk to others going through the same thing, I highly recommend their discussion groups.  Conversing with others who are going through exactly what I am has been very uplifting and comforting.  There is even a group for people that just started chemo this month, so we journey through this together.  Wonderful ladies who are juggling the same things I am... family, faith, fears, work, and hope.



Some frustrating news this week.  Spoke to the doctor and he said that I'll have to be on the Herceptin (one of the KCA cocktail drugs) for a full year. So, I thought the infusions would end on December 20th, but apparently not.  It has taken a few days for my paradigm to shift on that news.

September 25, 2013

 

The good news is that the Herceptin is the least side-effect riddled drug of the three and it doesn't cause hair loss.  Speaking of my hair, it is completely gone now.  Here are a couple of 'contrast and compare' pics.  I was surprised that it was actually very painful as the hair was falling out.  After two days of pain and mange, it shaved off very easily.  It was nice not to have the pain when I touched my head (like a thousand needles stabbing my scalp), but I have to admit that it was a little discouraging.  But, I expect to be back to my short summer haircut by July or so.  Just in time for the 5K Foam Fest!



June 2013

Speaking of support, I just can't say enough how much I appreciate all of my friends and colleagues.  From texting me to just check up on me, to walking with me (and often bringing a possee)  to hats and quilts, to comfort food that is delicious, to letting me know that you are praying for us every day, to helping 'pay it forward' by helping others, I am so richly blessed by each of you.  You inspire me and keep me going.  Thank you! 

 I will try and make a blog post from the chemo room tomorrow.  No promises, but I'm going to try just to prove I can multitask while KCA! Round 2 will be better than Round 1.

Day 38 - Round 2

Round 2 of Chemo is on Friday, September 27th.  I'm looking forward to it.  I'm looking forward to it.  I'm convincing myself that I'm looking forward to it (sigh).  The good news is that I know what to expect this time and have some new 'tools in the toolbox' to help cope with the rough week or so afterwards.

 

The first 8 days after Chemo are tough physically and mentally. You are glad the chemo drugs are KCA (kicking cancer's arsk, for those of you that are new), but the drugs are also constantly kicking you in the gut and your bones feel like they are in a slow motion explosion.  Mentally, it is rough because you have to constantly remind yourself, "Self, you don't have to do this or that."  I'm constantly reminding myself, "Let it go... rest, eat a little, rest some more, and save your energy for later in the race."

 

Whoever said that you have to look at this like a marathon instead of a sprint is spot on.  In a marathon, you need to suppress the intense egocentric desire to speed up a little and pass that guy/gal right ahead of you at mile 2.  You will pass them at mile 20 if you are disciplined.  Learning to be disciplined is hard, though.

 

That includes some discipline to not expend too much energy in the political commentary I usually enjoy on facebook and the comment sections of the papers... So, if I usually take you on (and you know who you are), please don't think I've lost my passion or that my silence is agreement... just know that when I finish this marathon, you better be prepared!

 

 

Then there are two or three days of feeling a little better, but not 80%. Then 10 days of feeling 80% great (all things considered)... until the next chemo treatment.

 

I promise not to 'bolt' in Round 2.  After all, I'm looking forward to snuggling up with my quilts and having Tom as a captive audience for a few hours.  I hope he loaded Words with Friends on his iPhone.

 

Hair is falling out easily now. So glad I cut it.  Just having the 1/4 inch or shorter stubbies coming off with the lint roller is weird enough.  Bonus is that my legs are silky smooth.  :-)

Day 38 - Fantastic Friends, Finish Lines, and Foam Fun

Fantastic Friends

 

Big Shout Out to great friends Cindy McMullen, Martha Rice, Patty Wood, and all of WSSDA peers. Thank you for the hand made quilt, Cindy! Thank you, Martha, for the handmade hat. Thank you, Patty, for the stress token. And, Thank you, everyone, for signing the quilt and the good wishes/thoughts/prayers. I am humbled by the love and support of everyone!

 

Patty Wood gave me a pocket token to absorb my stress during the road ahead.  I think she said it was her first 5K finisher medal.  So, I wanted to return it next Spring when I am well and what better way to return it than to do a 5K with Patty!  Actually, she gave me a choice... a 5K or climb Mt. St. Helens. Since I'm more terrified of Mt. St. Helens than trying to finish a 5K, I opted for the 5K.  Patty gets to pick the 5K.  I get to pick the hospital for lunch.  ;-)

 

Also, BIG Shout Out to my walking buddies, Margot, the Keating Family, Michelle, and so many others!  Ya'll are such great friends and you make me laugh when I want to cry, smile instead of grimmace, and build muscle mass when I'd rather veg on the couch. 

 

Looking Past the Finish Line

Setting goals is very important.  It helps frame the mind for success.  With that in mind, I'm setting some activity goals for post-detour fun.  Here is my list so far:

 

1. Finish a 5K with Patty Wood.
2. Trip to Vegas, Baby! (tentative plan is March 2014... maybe April)
3. Foam Fest 5K on July 12, 2014 in Sammamish.
4. New Car (well, at least 2007 or newer).
5. A trip that requires my passport! (tentatively in the Fall of 2014)

 

Foam Fun!

 

If you would like to join me for the 2014 Foam Fest, click on link or the picture. It is July 12, 2014 at Lake Sammamish Park, near Issaquah, Washington.  Big Shout Out to Bobbie Haegele for the idea!

I'M IN!!

 

 

Day 32 - Mutant Genes! NOT!!

Dr. Clark's office called today with the results of the genetic testing to see if I carried the BRAC1 or BRAC2 genetic mutation.  I took a deep breath and asked if I was or was not a mutant.  Turns out that I am NOT a mutant Ninja!!  The genetic testing came back negative.  Another big WIN for Team Simpson!

I was very relieved to share this information with Steph and Tom this evening.   I'll weep for my aspirations for a becoming a mutant comic superhero later.

This news may present some potential choices in January's surgery.  However, we will need to biopsy a potential cancer area of the right breast that showed up on the MRI/PET/CT scans.  If it is positive then I'll definitely be having a bi-lateral mastectomy in January.  If it is negative then I have some additional options and calculated risks.  I'm also weighing the option of just having the bi-lateral mastectomy in order to minimize risk entirely.

Right now, I'm leaning towards minimizing risk entirely. 7300 Days seems easier to get to with fewer risk areas inside my body.

You can read more about BRAC1 and BRAC2 genetic testing here:
http://ww5.komen.org/breastcancer/genemutationsampgenetictesting.html

Day 28 - III beats IV

The oncologist just called. The biopsy results from the two 'rogue' suspect lymph nodes (in my neck and right side) are finally back.  NEGATIVE!!  Team Simpson celebrates a victory!!

Seems a little strange to be celebrating Stage III cancer, but it sure beats the complications of Stage IV and brightens the prognosis significantly!  A friend reminded me earlier this week that this battle is a marathon, not a sprint.  So, being Stage III instead of Stage IV is a major victory! 

Keep the good thoughts, prayers, and jokes coming!  Thank you all for your love and support.  It means so much and keeps us so positive.

The first session of chemotherapy kicked pretty hard for a few days.  However, I'm feeling much better now and only had a day and a half off of work this week. Learned a lot about how to manage the side effects and think that the next round will be easier.

Oh, and bald is beautiful... but chilly.  I'll be sporting all sorts of TCC, Mariners, Seahawks, South Kitsap, and Washington Husky hats and scarves this fall and winter. Maybe they will all do well just so I can stay in good fashion.  :-)

Tomorrow (Friday, September 13th) is the SKHS Football Home Opener.  GO WOLVES!!  Looking forward to a great game!

Day 23 - Hit by a Truck

This will be a short post.  Yesterday, I felt really good.  It was the first day after the first chemo treatment and I thought, "Wow, not so bad".  Then I woke up this morning and felt like I got hit by a big truck.  I think the first three letters of it's license plate was HCT... (sigh).  Glad I planned on laying low this weekend.

While I physically don't feel well, my spirit is heartened by knowing that bad cells are being confronted by the KCA Warriors.

Thank you to everyone for the prayers, good thoughts, and inspiration.  It means so much!  Keep it coming.

Day 21 - KCA Soldiers Arrive in the War Zone - Delivered by My Personal Navy!

This is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made.
I will rejoice and be glad in it, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

This is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made

~~Theme Song for Noah's Ark Preschool

 

Chemotherapy started today.  Exactly 21 days since this cancer detour began.  What a wild and crazy three weeks!  Then it hit me so hard today that this is real.  I ended up bolting from the room twice before we got started.  The first time was just plain and simple a 'fight or flight' response.  I had arrived 10-15 minutes early and then sat waiting in the waiting area for another 20+ minutes beyond my appointment start time.  That was not good.  When they took my blood pressure, it was much higher than I have ever seen it in my life!!  That caused the 'fight or flight' to kick into overdrive and I bolted.

 

The nurse asked Stephie (who insisted on coming with me) if I would be coming back.  Stephie, in typical Simpson fashion, replied, "Well, she can't get far because I have her keys".  As I ran out three doors to get outside, I just needed to clear my head and regroup.  I did.  Walking back in, though, the nurse stopped me at the door and asked if I wanted to talk about it.

 

We agreed to talk about it 'outside' where I could breathe. So, technically, I didn't bolt twice... the second one was a supervised visit to the out of doors as a pre-treatment excursion.  ;-)  In a few minutes I was back inside and my blood pressure had gone from 160/Something to 125/Something.  Then they got the port hooked up, got me in a chemo seat (very comfy) and spent the next 4.5 hours infusing KCA slow drip cancer killing warriors into my system!  Tom texted me right as we were starting the infusions, "This is day 1 to recovery. Love you".  What a great attitude!

 

Huge shout out to Steph and Tom.  They are beyond brave.  Both insisted on coming to chemo today to make sure I wasn't alone.  I know I said, "No, thanks" to many of our friends because I was afraid of how I would respond with you there the first time.  But, I cannot and will not say, "No thanks" to Steph and Tom.  They are in this as much as I am. 

 

Steph took the first shift and was just the right person to be there.  She trusted that I would come back. :-)  Tom arrived a couple of hours later and sat there while I slept (Benadryl to prevent an allergic reaction) so that Stephie could go to work.  I love my kids.  I love the strong, independent, and caring young adults they have become!

 

Chemo took about 4.5 hours.  It will take less next time because they start with a bonus dose of the Herceptin on the first visit. They load each KCA warrior troop sequentially and before the KCA troops can be loaded in, they frontload a bunch of spies and secret agents that help the troops once they arrive (steroids, mainly).  The Herceptin was about 90 minutes (an hour next time). The Taxotere was about an hour and the Carboplatin was 45 minutes or so. The three drug cocktail is known as HCT. We had a Benadryl stand-down for about 45 minutes too.  That was to treat some potential allergic reactions so that they didn't get worse and have a cascading negative effect on my ability to breathe (an essential element to getting well).   I can walk around, eat lunch, snack, chat, and use my ipad/phone. Steph went to the cafeteria and got us some lunch.

It feels good to be fighting now!

Some of you were texting and messaging me.  I tried to keep up, but the Benadryl got the best of me and I ended up sleeping most of the time.

 

Special Shout-out to the Gig Harbor Comfort Quilters!! My handmade quilt is amazing!  Thank you for making a very difficult time a little easier and cheerier. Special Shout-outs to  Sheila for the delicious and hot pumpkin pie and to Becky, who has been keeping a good watch on me and dropped off a special air-head friend to watch me when she can't. :-)

 

Am feeling good tonight.  Queezy, but good.  Thank you, everyone, everyone for your good thoughts and prayers today and everyday.  We have boots on the ground inside my body and your great faith and hope on the outside.  Keep battling for Team Simpson!  Failure is not an option!

Day 20 - From Surreal to Real - Facing Reality

Thanks, Kathy Collins!

Big shout-out to my walking buddies this week (Michelle, Margot, and Sheila)!  Thank you! 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do something that scares you every day". 

From the moment you hear the words, "You have cancer", you live with fear every day.  Biopsies scare you, PET Scans scare you, other invasive procedures scare you, words and statistics scare you, the phone calls from the doctors scare you, telling your kids really scares you... but if you want to live, really live, then you get up, every day, face the fear, find the goodness inside and the humor outside, and choose to live... really live!

Sometimes you will be so overwhelmed (like I was today) that you will question your capacity to walk your own talk.  But keep talking and keep walking!! It is ok to be afraid.  It is not ok to let that fear drive your decision making or drive you to Canada.

Chemo School overwhelmed me today.  Things suddenly got very real very fast!  So fast that after about 10 minutes, I abruptly excused myself to "borrow the restroom" and ran to the nearest exterior door for fresh air. I took several deep breaths, regained my composure and returned to the room. I was not the best student today.  But I will Ace the exam!


Thanks, Sandy and Mareen!

Chemotherapy starts tomorrow (Thursday).  It will be every three weeks for six cycles.  The last treatment will be right before Christmas.  The slow-drip-KCA-cocktail will include Herceptin, Taxotere, and Carboplatin.  I'll also get an immune system booster shot the next day.  It will have something called "Neulasta" in it.  Kinda funny name for that drug.

Yup, I am scared.  I know my family is scared. But we will get through the day! We will get up in the morning, find the goodness inside, the humor outside, ask for Heavenly Father's help, rely on the faith, prayers and moral support of family and friends... and live... really live!