Friday, December 27, 2013

Day 134 - I LEARNED THAT I KNOW THAT I AM...

Thought I would share a modified version of a post I made in an online group today.  It seems a bit self-congratulatory, but I don't mean it as that.  I mean it as insight as to how my life has evolved over these past few months.  I would never want cancer to define me.  But I do have to acknowledge that this experience is seriously evolving me...
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In August, I thought Christmas was SO far away.  Now chemo is done, I am still here, and I LEARNED that I am stronger than cancer!  In three weeks, I'll have a surgery that I couldn't even start to think about in August.  Now it is nearly here and I KNOW that I am stronger than cancer.  In a few more weeks, I'll start 7 weeks of daily radiation treatments and I won't bolt from the room because I LEARNED THAT I KNOW THAT I AM stronger than cancer.  My cancer will NOT survive 2014, but I WILL!!
 
This has been the hardest challenge of my life. To stay composed and positive has taken all of my energy and effort.  But I have succeeded.  They say that you never know how you will react when life throws you a curve ball.  Now I know.  I've got my eye on it and I'm going to hit that damn ball over the fence!  I'm not settling for a single, a double, or even a triple.  Home run, baby!!  Frankly, it has to be a home run because I can't run fast enough right now to get around the bases with anything else.  ;-)
 
This is scary stuff.  I'm terrified sometimes.  But I am HERE and for every day that Heavenly Father gives me, I will rejoice in another day to tell my kids I love them.  This isn't about what we have lost... the hair, the breasts, the spontaneity... this is about every day being a day to rejoice that WE ARE STRONGER THAN CANCER because WE ARE HERE!!
 
Not sure what has come over me today... but it feels really good!!  ;-)
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